As a writer, I’ve done quite a bit so far. I’ve published two novels, I’ve had plays produced for the stage, and I’m constantly having writing published online on several remarkable outlets and sites (if I do say so myself). I’m always keeping myself busy, as I’m currently working on my third novel, preparing to write more scripts for the stage, and am in the process of developing a spec script for a writing program I am planning to apply to.
I’ve done and am doing all this, and yet sometimes, I forget that this is all of my doing. Sometimes I need to remind myself on a daily basis that I have novels out there in the world for people to read. Other times, I feel as if I’m undeserving of ever speaking about it; maybe out of modesty, but also out of feeling like a fraud, even though deep down, I know that I’m far from being one. It’s sad for me to say that I have what is commonly known as Impostor Syndrome.For those who don’t know, Impostor Syndrome is where no matter how successful a person is, emotions of inadequacy persist on, therefore making one incapable of truly accepting their accomplishments. The term was originally coined in a study conducted by clinical psychologists Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes in 1978. It’s a mentality that can affect people at all levels of success. Melody Wilding’s article on the subject matter – published earlier this year in Fast Company – breaks down five types of Impostor Syndrome (I’ve identified myself as a mix between the Natural Genius and the Rugged Individualist), its symptoms (common ones include perfectionism, fear of failure, and overworking), and how to overcome it.
Those are the facts about Impostor Syndrome. Reading through all that, while I consider myself to be a mild case, it still persists my thoughts nonetheless. I internalize my inadequacy over my success than my actual accomplishments. The fact that this is the first time I’ve really spoken publicly about it shows just how much it has stuck with me.
While it’s been said that even people who are far more successful than me also fall victim to Impostor Syndrome, it’s worth shedding a light on how my small list of accomplishments and the responses to them have manifested and contributed to my mentality as well. I’m not as well known of an author compared to some of my peers, and finding support from others proves to be difficult. In those instances, I can’t help but question to myself: What does that say about me if very few will think twice about the work that I am putting out into the world?
But as is the case with pretty much every negative mentality, there are methods to overcoming Impostor Syndrome; methods that I definitely need to take into consideration. I need to stop being so hard on myself, forgive myself more, and really take the time to acknowledge and genuinely accept my own accomplishments. Already, it wasn’t until a few months ago where I’ve started including my occupation as an author on my resume, and that was upon advice from a friend who told me how “not a lot of job seekers can say that they’ve done what you’ve done.” In that regard, he has a point.
I can imagine this to be an ongoing battle going forward, especially with the more I do. The fact that I’ve taken the time to recognize it is a wise first step.
An Absolute Mind is now available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, CreateSpace, iBooks, Kobo, Smashwords, etc. If you read it, please leave a review, for they’re greatly appreciated and help me grow as a writer. Also, be sure to check out itsGoodreads page, and feel free to leave any questions you have about the book.